Tag: parents

Now you are three.

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It’s hard to believe how fast this past year with you flew by.  It seems like only yesterday we were blowing out the candles on your cake together as we geared up for your very first visit to the cottage.

So many firsts.  So many blurred memories.  So much learned.

Our first family all-inclusive beach vacation.  You LOVED playing in the ocean waves and chasing your dear friend Quincy around everywhere.

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Your first monster jam truck rally.  It was a life altering experience for you, and all you wanted to do was re-create the event again and again on the living room floor every night.

Your first full sentences.  The first time you made me REALLY laugh because you “told a joke” (even though you didn’t necessary realize it was a joke); the first time you paid me a compliment (“mom, I really like your earrings today”), the first time you offered me some criticism (“mom, your hair looks like butter; I don’t like the strings”)

The first time you peed all by yourself, after a solid week of me doubting myself about this whole potty-training thing: had we pushed you to potty train too soon? Will I seriously have to give you stickers every single time you make a bowel movement until I send you off to college?

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Your first day of preschool.  You didn’t shed a tear or miss a beat and you were SO excited for your routine, new friends, new TOYS.  I was so proud of you.

Your first cousin.

Our first totally public, totally confined epic toddler melt down (inside an airplane, for approximately 20 minutes).

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The longest time you and I have been apart in 3 years, and the longest distance by thousands of miles.  That was a long 9 days away from you and Dubai is a very very far ways away.

Your first time requesting a specific song to be played (Footloose.  It’s always Footloose)

The first time you sang…..like REALLY SANG…a full song in its entirety!  You started with ABC and as we moved through your second year, row row row your boat, the Robo Car Poli theme song (thanks, Netflix), and Twinkle Twinkle, have all been added to your rotation.

Your first time truly saying good-bye, to our amazing nanny, Amber.

The first time you saw that I was crying, and recognized and understood that I was upset, when a dear friends’ daughter left this world way too soon.  I struggled to find a simple way of explaining the tragedy to you.

Your first time sleeping in a “big boy bed”.

Your first time taking off your shoes, socks, hat, and coat…all by yourself.

Your first time becoming our in-home barista, mastering the art of the Nespresso Coffee.

Your first organized sport, playing soccer with Little kickers.

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Your first sleepover, which involved actually sleeping in the SAME ROOM as another toddler!  Winning!

The first time you demanded independence.

The first time you refused to hold my hand.

The first time you negotiated with us.

The first time you tried to articulate your feelings with words.

The first time you “read” (memorized) a book.  First favorite = The Giving Tree

The first time you swam in Clear Lake.

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Your first ice cream, scooter ride, balance bike-ride, ride in an excavator and flight outside of North America.

And yet, within a flurry of firsts, there were also so many last times….these I find so hard to pinpoint.  When was the last time I picked you up without worrying about my back?  When did you stop calling me ‘mama’ and instead start calling me “mum”?   When did I stop singing the “good morning” song to you each day?  The past year is starting to melt together with the year prior.  Those small, precious memories are already slipping into the back of my memory bank — this is the most difficult part about accepting that you are now another year older.

But, do you want to know something?  It keeps getting better.  That first year with you….boy…..I wasn’t so sure.

I wasn’t sure it was ever going to get better.  There were some tough days, weeks and months.

But, now you are 3.

I love the boy that you are becoming.  I love to laugh with you, play with you and sing with you.  I love to watch your curious mind working at 5,000 miles an hour.  I love to sneak in and tuck you in and give you a kiss good-night before resting my head on the pillow after a long day.  I love reading to you…your attention span is unbelievable.

I love to watch you grow.

I love you more today than yesterday.  But not as much as tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, my love.

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Clop, Clop, Neigh: Kentucky Derby 1st Birthday!

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Welp, we survived.  One full year of parenthood.  The late nights, early mornings, breast feeding ups and downs, emotional roller coasters, highs and lows, fights, baby cuddles, milestones, bumps, bruises, giggles, cries, teething, ginormous poops, spit ups, fevers, stroller schlepping, tears, yelling, singing, laughing, heart-bursting-right-out-of-your-chest first year of raising a child is behind us.

So, like any parents do, we celebrated baby H’s first birthday in style.  With lots of drinks.

Christian and I are fairly…preppy.  We love a good Tommy Hilfiger sale, freshly pressed collared shirts, gorgeous pair of loafers and old fashioned lawn games.  Yep, we’re those people.  I, in particular, also have a slight obsession with the south.  I actually have a theory that I was meant to be born in Georgia, South Carolina or perhaps Tennessee.  I love all things southern charm: wrap-around porches, big hats and of course…the Kentucky Derby.  (Fact: Attending the Kentucky Derby Race is actually on my life bucket list).  So, we decided to bring the Derby to Toronto!  Self-serving party theme?  Maybe.

First up: a fun and creative welcome sign for our front door.  I wanted to mimic a First Place ribbon from a race; this was super easy to do using:

  • a party “fan” decoration from the dollar store
  • glitter paper
  • white & blue bristol board
  • Hot glue gun
  • mini star hole punch

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Just as I did for my mother-in-laws British Invasion themed 60th birthday party, I love to spread little touches throughout the house during any party, and I squealed out loud when I found these incredible and FREE (free!) Kentucky Derby themed printables on Pinterest from the Hostess with the Mostess.  Simply amazing coordinated ready-to-print cut outs from cupcake toppers to bunting banners.

Check out the framed sign and win-place-show flags below:

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What’s that?  You’re wondering about those Bourbon Balls?  Don’t you worry – I’ll be sharing that recipe shortly.  My sister-in-law even voted them MVP of the party (next to baby H, of course!)

For the living room, which is a bit more formal feeling and also happens to be the room right at the entrance of our house, I opted for something a tad more fancy.

I found the “Run for the Roses” themed printables on-line at Polka Dot Chair …also FREE…also AMAZING.  I loved the classic black-and-red color theme so much that I had to include it too.  The black and red mini paper “fans” were actually left over from my friends little mans’ first birthday, so they were also FREE (do you see a theme here!?)

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One of my favourite little details came from my dear friend Alison, who not only grew up riding and racing horses, but who has actually BEEN to the Derby!  She dug up some old ribbons from Carriage Races her family had placed in and they were such a welcome and authentic addition to the decor around our home:

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In keeping with the theme, it only seemed appropriate to tweak the traditional “pin the tail on the donkey” game.  I bring to you:  Pin the Baby H Jockey on the Horse!  Big shout out to my friend Charlotte for masterfully photo-shopping H’s head onto the jockey.  Such an awesome touch – it’s already been saved in his baby book!

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You can find both the poster and jockey printable (you guessed it…also FREE!) here at Hostess with the Mostess as well)

We tried to stick to southern-style cooking as best as we could, while also offering some healthier options (we are the “Happy Healthy Huggetts” after all!).  My mother-in-law whipped up some delicious finger sandwiches, our friend Merv made his epic Mac’n’Cheese (rumor has it he used FOUR bricks of cheese in that baby), and Christian and I made:

For dessert, we didn’t want to give baby H a complete sugar rush on his first time having something truly sweet, so we opted for these Mini Chocolate Quinoa Cupcakes with Avocado Icing.  (TIP: They are very cocoa heavy, so if I were to do it again, I would pick to either do the cake OR the icing as cocoa-based, not both)

Here is Baby H giving the cupcake a try (he wasn’t so sure about them)

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Oh…and about those Bourbon Balls.  Yeah, there’s NOTHING healthy about them.  But boy were they good.  You can find the recipe here – we doubled the amount of Bourbon, because, why not?

And the birthday boy: he certainly looked the part. I bought this seer-sucker blazer off another mom in one of the on-line buy and sell groups I’m a part of for $8 when baby H was about 6 weeks old.  I hadn’t planned the theme for his party yet, but I KNEW he was going to wear it.  And wear it he did.

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The bow-tie actually makes my heart melt.

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… BOTTOMS UP to a fantastic FIRST BIRTHDAY celebration!!  Happy birthday my love!

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A Good Mother.

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This is not exactly my typical type of post, but I needed to get something off my chest.  That’s what blogging is about, right?

Today marked a milestone in my life as a mother. Nope, not a tooth or a first food. Not a birthday or a first step. Not a smile or a word.

Today was the first time I experienced extreme judgement from a complete stranger, all because of the actions of a child.

It’s Friday afternoon and a dear friend and I got together for lunch. It’s dreary, it’s January. It’s miserable. We had both had tough weeks with our little ones. We enjoyed coffee and a chat and fed our babies lunch. Words such as “we’re surviving” and “its fine” came up.   It was refreshing to get together and discuss the good, bad and ugly. And besides, we made it to Friday, so it can’t be all that bad, right?

As we started packing up to go, my friends’ little one starting fussing. The fussing turned into crying, and by the time he was strapped into his stroller, the crying had escalated into full-on screaming.

We soldier on and make a hasty dash towards the exit. We are both holding our breath as we take those last few steps to the freedom of open air where the screams don’t seem quite as loud.

And at that very moment, that “I-just-need-to-make-it-to-the-door” final push, a miserable-looking woman stares my friend straight in the eye and says:

“You’re a terrible mother. You should have never had children. My children never cried like that”.

You’re. A. Terrible. Mother.

Read that sentence one more time. Do it.

It took every ounce of self-restraint in me to not march back in there, stand up for my friend, and retaliate. But do you know what? It wouldn’t have made any difference. That woman had made her judgement as soon as that little guy started crying, and no explanation or reasoning would have changed her mind.

So what is it that makes a mother so terrible that a complete stranger would feel compelled to say such a thing?

I don’t have the answer. But I do know that I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, especially as I round the bend of my maternity leave. My days are filled with researching full time childcare options for my son.

I’m leaving my son in the care of someone else, 5 days a week, so that I can further my career.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

My husband and I had our first overnight away from our son in December. It was a big milestone for us, for our son, and for nana and papa who looked after him. Many friends suggested that I “try not to miss him too much”.

I didn’t miss him. I enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to booking the next night away.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

We made the decision to sleep train. Early. Like, before 3 months old, early. Our son has slept soundly for 12 hours a night since he was 3 months old. He has slept in his crib in the nursery starting at week 2.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

I let him fall. I let him shove too much food in his mouth. I had to perform the Heimlich maneuver a few weeks ago because of said food. I let anyone and everyone hold him. I don’t pick him up as soon as he cries. I breastfeed him pretty much anywhere. I let him watch TV and play with my iPhone. I started him on solids at four months old. I give him baby formula rather than breast milk when I go out because I am sick of pumping. I throw my hands up in the air in the middle of Starbucks and proclaim: “I have no idea why you are crying!!!”

Does that make me a terrible mother?

NO.

I am a GOOD mother. I am AMAZING mother. I am SUPER-FRICKIN-woman.  And I will remind myself of this every. single. day.

Every day that my son looks at me with his huge smile and love in his eyes and I give him the same love back.  That’s all it takes to be a good mother: love.  Love is all you need.

So I challenge you: remind yourself how awesome you are. Look that screaming child of yours in the eye and tell him how much you love him. Look at your tear-streaked face in the mirror and tell yourself how amazing you are. Look at the other mothers in your community and tell them they are GOOD MOTHERS and that they are doing an AMAZING JOB.

Say those words to someone today. Because we don’t always know how long it takes for the sting of negative words to wear off.

YOU are an amazing mother.  YOU are LOVED.

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Photo Credit: Little SugarPlum Photography, Vancouver