Saying Farewell to our First Home.

Today is the day we officially close a foundational chapter in our lives as “Christian & Melissa”.

Christian and I purchased our first home in summer of 2009.  We were 3 months engaged, eager home-buyers looking for that “potential-unlocking” fixer-upper.  The up-and-coming neighbourhood of Leslieville still had the grit of the city, but was showing signs of a changing landscape.  New restaurants were popping up, families were moving in, and the residents had successfully fended off the terror that is Wal-Mart just one year prior. Movement was afoot.

We put in our bid just before the August long weekend and went to the nearby McDonald’s to assess what we had just done.  I distinctly remember the acute need to throw up.  Not from the smell of the aforementioned McDonald’s, but from the sheer panic about the decision we had just made.   In just a few moments, we made the decision to incur the biggest debt we had ever seen, all hanging on the small nest egg that my uber-responsible husband had scrounged and saved into RRSP’s during the previous few years.  Me?  I had nothing but additional student loans to throw into the mix.  We were betting it all on a desperately sad-looking fixer-upper.

But boy, did we have gumption.  That, and a strong sense of purpose: we were going to turn that tiny sum of money into a home, and a life together.  Throw in some major DIY skills from Christian and my early exposure to all things design (as a child, we didn’t go to the zoo….we went to Living Lighting and the Kitchen Cabinet store.  Not kidding.  I could tell you what wainscotting was by age 8) and we could NOT be stopped.

It was, by most respects, the ugliest house on the street.  But it was OURS.  We were going to turn it into our future.

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I will never forget the day we got the keys. We drove to our new home and opened the door.  The smell of mould, must and rotten fish was still strong…but it didn’t matter.  We were home. We wandered down Queen Street East, bought some fish n’ chips served in styrofoam as our celebratory meal, and popped the mini bottle of bubbly that I had bought just for the occasion.

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At 7am the next morning, we would begin.

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And so unfolded four years of nearly never-ending renovations.  Weekend after weekend after weekend of work.  14 hour days. Aching backs.  Bloody knuckles.  Loss of sleep. Living in dust and dirt.  Saying no to most social events because we had to “work on the house”.  Avoiding trips and costly outings because that money could go to a sink or a fixture or some other coveted item at Home Depot. Always the house.  Room by room and space by space, we slowly made it our own. Together.  I’ve often said that renovating a house with your spouse is like marriage counselling 101.  The joy, the tears; pushing you to the brink and then just a little but further.  Yelling.  Fighting.  Laughing.  Crying.

“It’s your fault we got into this in the first place!!” I would exclaim to my tireless worker of a husband.

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And here I am, 7 years later, writing an ode to that place.

I’ll never forget our first Christmas together at Larchmount Ave.  It was early December, and we were scrambling to finish a few final touches on our first (of many) rounds of renovations.  Not only was it Christian’s birthday celebration, it was also our first Huggett Christmas Party (which is now an annual ‘do, 7 years later), and a big open house to welcome our friends and family to come see what we had been tirelessly been working on for months on end (and why we had been so darned anti-social).  The debutant ball for our home.

It’s 11pm and we are racing to finish in preparation for the party the following day.

“We have to put up the tree”, I said.  “It’s the best part…we can’t have a Christmas party in our new home without a Christmas tree!”

I had lovingly picked out ornaments and determined a colour scheme for our very first Christmas tree.  We put on Mariah Carey’s Christmas album (what else?), made Bailey’s and hot chocolate, and got to it.  At approximately midnight, we were ready to move onto to final part: ornaments!!

I excitedly unwrapped all of our new, sparkling, ornaments from their packaging, only to realize that I had forgotten to buy ornament hangers.  It was a real pine Christmas tree, and the ornaments simply would not stay on the tree without hangers.

My eyes welled with tears and my lip trembled.

It wasn’t about the tree, the ornaments, or even Christmas.  It was about the fact that we had reached that moment of the JOY of decorating together, in our first home, after months of painstaking renovations, only to realize that we couldn’t finish.

Christian looked at my face and knew that we had to complete the tree.

He ran out back to where our growing junk pile of renovation debris was, and came back with an arm-load of old electrical wire that we had removed from the house.  Without missing a beat, he pulled out his wire cutters, pried back the plastic casing, and started fashioning copper-based Christmas ornament hooks from the electrical wire.

Through my tear-filled eyes, I realized what he was doing, and broke into a huge smile. We hung all our ornaments that night with those quirky, mis-matched copper-wire & plastic hand-made ornament hangers.

Still to this day, we proudly point out the remaining copper-wire ornament hangers on our Christmas tree and tell that story.  It’s just one reminder of all the experiences we shared together in those years at Larchmount.

The truth is, I could write for hours about that house.

The creak of the floorboards.  The sound of kids playing across street at the school.  Getting ready for our wedding in the living room with my sister, mom and closet friends.  Sitting in the backyard with friends on hot summer nights.  Warding off raccoons.  My sister’s “injury incident” on our back steps.  Welcoming our first basement tenants.  Meeting our amazing neighbours.  Watching Leslieville grow and evolve.  Welcoming friends into our home for parties, dinners, drinks.  Hosting the Larchmount-Caroline laneway sale.  Countless Pho dinners at Hainoi.  Leaking ceilings, shattered glass tables, halloween haunted “porches”, laughing, crying.  So much life.  So much love.

Screen Shot 2016-08-31 at 8.41.01 PM[Photo Credit: Claudia Hung Weddings]

Although we moved out nearly three years ago into our new home, a part of us always remained there.  Our renters took care of it as though it were there own, and in one of those amazing circumstances in life where things just simply fall into place, they are now the official new owners of our very first home on Larchmount Ave, and we couldn’t be happier.

(Bonus: its actually my colleague, so we get to continue to see the evolution of little Larchmount Ave as they create their own memories and home).

It’s the easiest way for me to say goodbye to a place that meant to much to Christian and I.

Growing up in a family where moving was essentially a hobby, I was surprised by how much that home meant to me.  I cried the day we moved out, looking back at our empty living room and family room, and thinking back to all those moments we shared together. I could still see the renovation debris all over the floor from the first demo.  I could still see that first quirky Christmas Tree in the corner.  Our first hideous Craigslist couches in the living room.

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So now we look forward to new places, new moments and new memories together…and all with our son, Harrison.  4 years felt like a lifetime in the midst of those renovations, but it’s just a blip in the history of the Happy Healthy Huggetts!

So…cheers to you, Larchmount Ave.  We toast in your honour tonight.  May you continue to provide life, love and happiness to your very lucky new owners.

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A Good Mother.

This is not exactly my typical type of post, but I needed to get something off my chest.  That’s what blogging is about, right?

Today marked a milestone in my life as a mother. Nope, not a tooth or a first food. Not a birthday or a first step. Not a smile or a word.

Today was the first time I experienced extreme judgement from a complete stranger, all because of the actions of a child.

It’s Friday afternoon and a dear friend and I got together for lunch. It’s dreary, it’s January. It’s miserable. We had both had tough weeks with our little ones. We enjoyed coffee and a chat and fed our babies lunch. Words such as “we’re surviving” and “its fine” came up.   It was refreshing to get together and discuss the good, bad and ugly. And besides, we made it to Friday, so it can’t be all that bad, right?

As we started packing up to go, my friends’ little one starting fussing. The fussing turned into crying, and by the time he was strapped into his stroller, the crying had escalated into full-on screaming.

We soldier on and make a hasty dash towards the exit. We are both holding our breath as we take those last few steps to the freedom of open air where the screams don’t seem quite as loud.

And at that very moment, that “I-just-need-to-make-it-to-the-door” final push, a miserable-looking woman stares my friend straight in the eye and says:

“You’re a terrible mother. You should have never had children. My children never cried like that”.

You’re. A. Terrible. Mother.

Read that sentence one more time. Do it.

It took every ounce of self-restraint in me to not march back in there, stand up for my friend, and retaliate. But do you know what? It wouldn’t have made any difference. That woman had made her judgement as soon as that little guy started crying, and no explanation or reasoning would have changed her mind.

So what is it that makes a mother so terrible that a complete stranger would feel compelled to say such a thing?

I don’t have the answer. But I do know that I’ve been thinking a lot about this recently, especially as I round the bend of my maternity leave. My days are filled with researching full time childcare options for my son.

I’m leaving my son in the care of someone else, 5 days a week, so that I can further my career.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

My husband and I had our first overnight away from our son in December. It was a big milestone for us, for our son, and for nana and papa who looked after him. Many friends suggested that I “try not to miss him too much”.

I didn’t miss him. I enjoyed every minute of it and look forward to booking the next night away.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

We made the decision to sleep train. Early. Like, before 3 months old, early. Our son has slept soundly for 12 hours a night since he was 3 months old. He has slept in his crib in the nursery starting at week 2.

Does that make me a terrible mother?

I let him fall. I let him shove too much food in his mouth. I had to perform the Heimlich maneuver a few weeks ago because of said food. I let anyone and everyone hold him. I don’t pick him up as soon as he cries. I breastfeed him pretty much anywhere. I let him watch TV and play with my iPhone. I started him on solids at four months old. I give him baby formula rather than breast milk when I go out because I am sick of pumping. I throw my hands up in the air in the middle of Starbucks and proclaim: “I have no idea why you are crying!!!”

Does that make me a terrible mother?

NO.

I am a GOOD mother. I am AMAZING mother. I am SUPER-FRICKIN-woman.  And I will remind myself of this every. single. day.

Every day that my son looks at me with his huge smile and love in his eyes and I give him the same love back.  That’s all it takes to be a good mother: love.  Love is all you need.

So I challenge you: remind yourself how awesome you are. Look that screaming child of yours in the eye and tell him how much you love him. Look at your tear-streaked face in the mirror and tell yourself how amazing you are. Look at the other mothers in your community and tell them they are GOOD MOTHERS and that they are doing an AMAZING JOB.

Say those words to someone today. Because we don’t always know how long it takes for the sting of negative words to wear off.

YOU are an amazing mother.  YOU are LOVED.

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Photo Credit: Little SugarPlum Photography, Vancouver

 

makinghousetoronto – Volume 2!

Yes friends, we’ve got some exciting news to share!  After 4 long years of never-ending renovations, stories to share, pictures to post and general ups and downs, we’ve taken to plunge and bought a new home!

I have to be honest that this happened VERY FAST.  It was about a week from the time that we started seriously looking at places, visited the bank for financing, and put an offer in on our dream home.  We’re still in shock, and can’t actually comprehend that this baby is ours:

Screenshot 2013-11-19 22.14.56Yes, that’s a brand new build. In Toronto.  We are over the moon excited.  We have plans to put in a basement suite for rental income, however, that project is a whole lot of nothing compared to what we’ve been through at our original home in Leslieville.

We’re moving a bit north from where we are now, and will absolutely miss the charm the comes with our street and neighborhood, however, we’re so jazzed to start exploring our new ‘hood.

And what do I keep dreaming about, every single night?  This. Kitchen.

Screenshot 2013-11-19 22.14.14There are no words.  I think I’m going to have to become a professional chef.  Watch out, Jamie Oliver.

So, with just a more sleeps until moving day, we are frantically packing and prepping.  So stay tuned.  While the DIY stories might be slowing down, we’ll still have lots to share when it comes to design, decor, entertaining, decorating for the holidays and beautifying our new (and much larger!) back yard.

Stay tuned!

Melissa

The Power of Paint

A few weekends ago, Christian and I decided that it was time. It was time to deal with the unfortunate disaster that is commonly referred to as “the garage”. 

Now, let me fill you in on something: in downtown Toronto, if you have a garage, that is pretty awesome.  When our area was built in the 30s, the houses were made to back onto a laneway, and little free-standing garages face said laneway.  Over the years, some garages started to…well….desinigrate.  And the rule is, if your garage falls down, there’s no rebuilding it.  It’s a by-law.  So, I will just reiterate how excited we are to actually HAVE a garage, however, we were over it being a disaster zone, both inside and out.  We actually do have plans to restructure the garage in the future: new siding, replace the rusted out eavestroughs, put in an electric door opener, and one day actually park our car in there (what a concept).  We park on the street.

Baby steps, people. It’s all about baby steps (side note: I think that is the 3rd time this week that I’ve quoted “What About Bob“)

First of all, we tackled the inside.  Unfortunately, we decided to do this on one of the hottest days of the summer, but not to worry – we forged on!  I will spare you with the organizational details, however, here is one snap shot of a newly reclaimed shelf for all of my gardening supplies and our lovely (and properly labeled) seasonal storage bins!  Yes, it’s the little things that make me excited:

You also might notice some stereo receivers on the upper right-hand shelf.  This was Christian’s little project.  He picked these up at our Annual Lane-way sale for about $15, re-worked the wire, integrated some old speakers, and voila!  We can plug in our I-Pod and rock out in our back-yard.  It’s amazing what $15 and an hour can do.

Once our interior organizational overhaul was complete, we (well, I) decided that the exterior wall of our garage wasn’t very inspiring when sitting at our backyard patio set.  So, until we have the budget to do the massive overhaul, I decided that a little coat of paint could go a long way.  First, I cleaned the surface:

And pulled out my trusty rollers and some leftover paint…

While cleaning and organizing the garage, we came across some cute butterfly iron outdoor decorations that had been stored in the garage for “when things looked a little prettier” – well, we found a home for them!  And I used a Groupon I had scored for a garden centre to purchase some beautiful hanging baskets….so, $20 later (the amount we spent on the Groupon about 2 months ago), our backyard went from this:

To this….

It’s not a super dramatic before-and-after, but the point is that a few hours, some elbow grease and a can of paint can really make a big improvement.  We have a long way to go in order to achieve that backyard city oasis that we dream of, however, this mini-makeover, coupled with a string of Christmas lights and recycled Chinese paper lanterns from our wedding day, strung on the clothesline, helped to create a welcoming outdoor space for a BBQ with friends last weekend. 

And, oh yeah, we were certain to rock out all night under the stars thanks to Christian’s McGruber-ed outdoor stereo.  Three cheers for my crafty husband: hip-hip hooray!